The Brain Thief by Hollimichele
'Policemen have their own walk. It's called "proceeding," and it is the gentle, rolling gait of every law enforcement officer in the history of the multiverse. It is a constant, like the deliberate dimness of sergeants or the missing three dollars in the tea kitty.' A meaty casefile for Sam Vimes, Jr. The style slips a bit in places, but there's plenty of world-building detail to hold the interest
[Added 15/07/2012; Drama; 20,000-50,000; Discworld]
The Case of the Vanishing Vampire by Adaptation Decay
'Visit shot a sideways look at Reg Shoe which said "Yeah? Well look at the evidence. The children of Om ascend to heaven when they die and you're still here."' A novella-length casefile in which Reg Shoe & Visit-The-Ungodly-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets form an unlikely investigative duo. A little rough around the edges, perhaps, but well worth a try for the solid mystery laced with a broad streak of humour
[Added 25/11/2011; Drama; 6000-20,000; Discworld]
Certainties by Nomad
'It's common knowledge that to summon Death, you need skulls, rams' horns, dribbly candles, an octogram and a great deal of chanting. It's slightly less common knowledge that all you actually need are a few sticks and four cc of mouse blood, or possibly a fresh egg.' Nomad's got Pratchett's style down, and this reads just like a missing fragment of canon, with a pitch-perfect voice for Vetinari
[Added 29/10/2014; Character Piece; 2500-6000; Discworld]
Going It Alone by Nomad
'You couldn't feed a goat in a dress with ribboned sleeves, or walk a mile through the woods in shoes with pointed toes. But a good bit of lace would strain tea, and beads would fill a tin can noise-maker to scare the birds, and there was never any shortage of uses for unravelled wool and scraps of cloth.' Nomad laces the wicked humour with pathos in this portrait of the young Esme Weatherwax, as sharp as the witch herself
[Added 04/10/2013; Character Piece; 1000-2500; Discworld]
Harmless by Kanna Ophelia
'"Nevertheless," said Vetinari, "you have to admit that the hole in the wall was distinctly Golem shaped."' A bit rough around the edges, but catches Pratchett's broad humour better than much fanfiction. There's a cute stealth crossover to look out for, too
[Added 21/09/2012; Humour; 2500-6000; Discworld]
The Importance of Being Mostly Human by Gogollescent
'Time stopped. Not in the literal and unromantic sense common to Susan's life, which if mapped chronologically would have looked like one of those graphs that tells you absolutely nothing about anything except the psychology of the grapher, and had none of the organizational advantages of people who really did have to live in the moment. Rather, Susan looked at Sam and felt the world slow.' Gogollescent weaves together threads from various novels to create a satisfying story that could easily have been written by Pratchett. Superb
[Added 04/10/2013; Drama; 6000-20,000; Discworld]
Like Clockwork by Halotolerant
'They move on like mechanical figures in an ornamental clock: set on their tracks, ever repeating, ever smooth and ordered, ever prevented from collision.' Vetinari isn't one of the Discworld characters that I know, but this precise & subtle study makes me want to. Highly recommended
[Added 28/01/2011; Character Piece; 1000-2500; Discworld]
Mister Vimes'd Go Spare! by Lunik
'The bad news that was travelling tonight damn near outstripped the people carrying it. It felt to Lance-Constable Mangas as though everyone knew this news before it was spoken. By the time it came through the door of the Peristeri Street Watch House, it was already olds.' An interesting idea for a possible future for the Disc. One of those stories that just sets straight into canon
[Added 21/09/2012; Drama; 2500-6000; Discworld]
Modern Love by Penknife
'"Nobody's she in the mines, Sergeant. No one wears heels on their boots or paints their faces or wears breastplates that curve in interesting ways."' Penknife uses a series of vivid OCs to bring to life the complexities of dwarven sexuality, in this clever, funny set of linked vignettes
[Added 20/05/2009; Romance/Erotica; 2500-6000; Discworld]
On Being Female by Nomad
'Carrot's personal slant on reality had a way of tilting everything in the immediate vicinity, leaving you wondering if you were the one who'd been standing at a funny angle all along.' A perfect little slice of canon, with a slightly different [cough] slant on the dwarf gender debate
[Added 04/10/2013; Humour; 1000-2500; Discworld]
One Sister Have I in Our House by Astro Knight
'The Weatherwaxes had always been highly attuned to magic. It was in the blood. / Lily took to it not so much like a fish to water but more like a match would to a fireworks factory.' A lovely braided story, focusing on Esme's differences from and similarities to her sister. The slight twist in the tail is a bonus
[Added 16/01/2014; Character Piece; 2500-6000; Discworld]
The Physician of Miracles and Death by Minutia R
'It's traditional when introducing a new student to a class in the middle of the year to stand him up in front of the first row of desks, right in the center. This allows the other students to size up his weak spots at their leisure, while all the new student can make out is a sea of nameless, scrutinizing eyes, and also the taste of whatever he had for breakfast at the back of his throat.' A wonderful blend of humour & melancholy, like the best of canon, marks this loose retelling of Godfather Death in the Discworld
[Added 14/04/2015; Drama; 2500-6000; Discworld; Crossover]
The Rules by Gileonnen
'There aren't very many rules, when one is a wizard. Or rather, there are very few rules that one might conceivably break twice.' Clever coming-of-age tale with a wonderful Pratchettesque style
[Added 20/05/2009; Humour; 2500-6000; Discworld]
A Shot In The Dark Aimed Right At My Throat by gyzym
'Lady Sybil Ramkin is seventeen and unmarried the day she meets Havelock Vetinari. This is, unfortunately, the way Sybil is defined by most of the people she knows and wishes she didn't; it's always Lady Ramkin: unmarried, as opposed to Lady Ramkin: friendly or Lady Ramkin: kind to animals or Lady Ramkin: actually considerably more intelligent than you, Lord Rust, but thank you for your attention.' Strong characterisations all round in this tale of Lady Sybil & her two favourite men
[Added 25/01/2019; Character Piece; 2500-6000; Discworld]
'Tis Impossible To Be Sure Of Any Thing by Karanguni
'There was almost a sense that he'd cheated somehow; as though seeing Death around the corner during some of his assignments was some kind of unfair advantage that the gods had extended a scholarship boy.' Winds neatly around canon to a perfect ending that could easily have been written by Pratchett
[Added 15/04/2015; Drama; 6000-20,000; Discworld]